Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
