i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
