i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
