Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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