I bet he comes in French.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
