I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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