i think my mom watched the whole time
love makes seman taste better
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
