So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
