He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
