I'm going to jail i love you
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
