I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
