Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
