we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can vaginas get frostbite?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
