she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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