You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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