Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
