They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
