I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
