sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
