he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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