I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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