dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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