oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I look better un-naked...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
