Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
