im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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