And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
