dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
