He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
