i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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