i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
