I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
