idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
