I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize