Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
