This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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