Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
