theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just pee around me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
