i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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