You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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