My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
