Well apparently he's into motor boating.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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