i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
