Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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