Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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