Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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