Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
