i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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