life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
