So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
