I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
