i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
