Soap is not a condiment
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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