Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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