It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
