I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
